02 12 / 2013
I don’t know how to tell you that I can’t seem to shake this anxiety
I don’t know how to tell you that I want to move closer to you without sounding too crazy or eager or obsessed
That I don’t like the idea of your super close girl friend moving in with you for half a year
-my worries here are not that anything has happened before, but just the opposite, what if one night she’s all upset and she comes crying to you and you’re the one she trusts and leans on…suddenly, your curiosity takes over. You’ve never been with this girl before and you two are so close…what would it be like? Then, she makes more sense than I do…she’s the one you never thought about who’s been there all along…then, you’re happy, a fairy tale ending…and I’m once again left crying alone as the one who I fell hard for realizes that his best gal pal is the love of his life
I don’t know how to tell you when I’m mad.
-I’ve been mad at you all of two times and I never spoke up. I don’t know if you caught on or not. I just really don’t want to fight with you or come across as petty.
I don’t know how to tell you that I constantly brace for the good bye, because I’m convinced it’s coming, life doesn’t go this well for me
I don’t know how to tell you that I fantasize about spending my life with you, that everything will work out and finally something good will last. Then, I tell myself that’s all it is…a fantasy.
I don’t know how to tell you that I want more attention from you during the week without sounding clingy.
I don’t know how to tell you that I think I’m not good enough for you sometimes. All of your security and faith in us scares the hell out of me.
That I’ve felt happiness with someone before and it all ended in tragedy.
-I especially don’t know how to tell you this without sounding like I’m comparing you to him
I don’t know how to tell you that I fear these fears are ripping me (us) apart.
That me not telling you these things will lead to our demise. Do I keep them in or blurt them out? If I keep my mouth shut, everything can stay perfect. But is it real, then?
That I’m riddled with insecurities toward our relationship and I fear that just one wrong move will destroy us. It is for this reason that I don’t know how to tell you these things.
26 11 / 2013
As you guys probably know, this blog is where I vent my frustrations as well as share in my discoveries. Well, this past week, I bought the one issue of People magazine that I buy every year (The Sexiest Man Alive issue). This year, the big winner was Mr. Adam Levine. He is totally sexy and absolutely deserving of the title, but he’s not the only reason I bought the issue. Some of you probably know, this issue of the magazine is riddled with hundreds of photos of sexy, sexy men (eye candy galore). As glorious as all of these men are, I couldn’t help but notice that some of my favorite sex-dream stars did not make the cut. Thank heavens Benedict Cumberbatch does make an appearance (though he is number one in my book).
I pointed this out to my roommate and I said, “Chris Hemsworth is in here, where the hell is Tom Hiddleston?”
"Who?" he said
"Tom Hiddleston. Only the sexiest, classiest, most talented man in the world! You know, he played Loki, Thor’s brother."
"Oh, that guy? He’s so creepy looking and gross." To which the girl he had over for the night promptly agreed. She said, "Ew, are you serious? Thor’s super hot, but that guy is weird!"
I became quite saddened that anybody every could say such things about that perfect man! So, Tumblr, how should I dispose of my roommate for spreading blasphemy?